Night in
by rainbowgirlx
Summary: Vince and Howard. Set after the end of series 3. Rated M, please tell me if you think this rating is about right...I'm just being safe here haha better to have to rate down than up!


Author's note: This is my first attempt at something like this. There might be more chapters, but that depends on what reviews (if any!) I get for this part... please be nice!

**Disclaimer: I (sadly) do not own the mighty boosh or any of the characters**

* * *

"So you'll look after the shop, right?" Naboo looked directly at Howard, "No crack-foxes? No Nanageddon?"

"Yes, sir" Howard smiled confidently, "We'll do just fine, sir, make record sales. Won't we, Vince?"Vince wasn't listening; entranced – as usual - with his own reflection.

"hrrrm" Said Naboo doubtfully, but was distracted by the timely appearance of Bollo with the suitcases, "We'll be back first thing Monday. Keep Vince out of the till, would you? I don't want to come back to another of his new hats" Vince glanced across momentarily at the word 'hat'.

"That was one time, Naboo. Will you quit worrying?" He whined, putting the mirror down and coming to stand beside Howard. "Where you off, anyway?"

"Dennis throwing wife surprise party" Bono grunted, "Whole shaman council there. Going to be huge."

"What, the extreme sports calendar model?" Vince grinned, nodding appreciatively, "Nice."

"Anyway, we'd better go" Naboo

* * *

"What's he mean 'take care of me'" Vince muttered indignantly, "I'm a great shopkeeper, I am."

"Yeah, apart from you spend more time chatting up the customers than actually selling things" Howard retorted.

"All right, all right, keep your wig on, shrimp eyes. 'least I do actually manage to sell summink, 'stead of mooning over elbow patches all day. " Vince said sneeringly, "Anyway can we wrap this up, I've got places to be tonight"

"I'll have you know my hair is all natural, all Howard Moon, sir." Howard preened, running his hand through it, "yes sir, many men are intimidated by my bounteous locks"

"Yeah because they're, like, everywhere" Vince snorted, "Haven't you heard of hair gel?" He reached inside his jacket – blue feathers with contrasting silver zip, fifty Euros at Topshop – and pulled out a can of styling mousse, tossing it to Howard, "Use that, yeah, and maybe a girl will actually let you within a hundred metres of her."

"Howard Moon doesn't need that to get to the ladies, oh no sir" Howard – stung – thrust his chin out and grinned defiantly, unwilling to let Vince see just how much the jibe had hurt him, "anyway if you'll excuse me someone has to do the stocktaking" and with that he turned his back on Vince Noir.

Vince shook his head and resumed admiring his reflection, what was Howard's problem?

* * *

Howard was standing in the supply closet, pretending to take stock. He was frowning, blinking rapidly. He knew Vince didn't mean it when he insulted him like that, it was only banter. Amazing how some stupid comment could just...hurt so much. Vince would rather be out with people he barely knew than there with him. He tried to tell himself he didn't care what Vince did, anyway, but he knew that wasn't true. He cared, perhaps more than he should. Vince was out every weekend, chatting up girls, pulling as often as not. That's just who he was. Howard couldn't help but be jealous. Who exactly he was jealous of – Vince or the girls – he didn't even want to think about. That night at the party Vince had thrown him... well, he'd been with girls since then, but no-one had given him shivers up his spine like Vince had on the rooftop. He shivered again at the memory, arousal as fresh now, months later, as it had been then. Things had just gone back to normal, after. He doubted Vince even remembered it.

"Howard?" Vince's voice came from the doorway, "You died in there?" Clearing his throat rapidly, Howard replied with forced cheer.

"Just finishing up, you can head out if you want; get some extra time on the hair straighteners"

"Sure" Vince retreated back out into the shop, but when Howard emerged after him he hadn't left, "You could come with, if you like...?"

"Not really my scene, is it, Vince?" Howard replied shortly, "Not my crowd. No, sir, I'll take classic jazz at home to a party any day"

"Suit yourself" Vince shrugged and headed upstairs to change.

* * *

Vince was in his room, but for once clothes weren't cheering him up. He wished Howard was coming out with him tonight. Things had been a bit strange between them recently. Nothing that you'd really notice, just... he tried a different hat with the outfit, but it didn't look any better. It just wasn't working. If he was anyone but Vince Noir he would have said he was having a bad clothes day, but Vince Noir didn't HAVE bad days.

* * *

Howard was slouched in front of the TV when Vince returned. He swung round in surprise, "you're home early"

"Party's going nowhere" Vince sighed, throwing himself down beside him. Howard could feel the other man's leg against his and had to concentrate on looking at the TV in front of him. He wrinkled his nose,

"What have you been drinking?"

"Punch mix" Vince grinned inanely, "was amazing. No idea what they put in it but two glasses and you're flying!" He turned to face Howard, who was staring pointedly at the TV. Vince's face was only a hand-span from his now, and he was very aware of it. Giving up, he looked towards the other man, and his breath caught as Vince's eyes flickered briefly from his to his lips and back again. There was a pregnant pause, then Vince darted forward and pressed his lips to Howard's. The kiss was brief, chaste, Vince quickly pulling away to look into Howard's eyes. Neither of them so much as breathed for a moment, then their lips met again, more forcefully. Their mouths opened, tongues meeting. Vince pressed forward, pushing Howard down onto his back on the couch, tongue invading the bigger man's mouth. Howard's hands wrapped tightly around Vince's waist, crushing him on top of him, while Vince's fingers found their way under Howard's shirt and dragged it upwards. Their lips broke contact momentarily for Vince to pull Howard's shirt off, then met with even more hunger than before. Howard gasped as Vince's clever fingers found his nipples and caressed them. He was burning up for him, his trousers uncomfortably tight. Vince pulled away, trailing rough kisses down the stubble on Howard's neck and along his collar bone. He glanced up though long eye lashes as his mouth moved lower to take in one of Howard's puckered nipples. Howard arched his back, groaning, as Vince licked and nipped at the raised bud. Howard's hands were moving up and down Vince's back and sides and buttocks, grinding the smaller man's body against him. Vince gasped at the contact, throwing his head back then bringing his mouth down on Howard's and kissing him passionately. He could feel how hard Howard was through the material (_vile_ _beige material_ his brain corrected him) of his trousers. Vince pulled away, his eyes burning into Howard's. He cocked his head towards the bedroom and grinned seductively, "Let's take this next door"


End file.
